White Noise
by Littlechoo
Summary: Alice has been placed in Danvers Insane Asylum by her parents. While there she receives treatment to cure her visions. This one-shot is a scene from a story that hasn't been written yet, should it be?


**A/N - 5.8.09 _Update: Well the votes are in - 6 to 1 for continuing - which I have! :) Sense Of Self has started!_**

**I bow down to my beta MissAlex, who always makes my writing better, and tells me when it's safe to come out from under the covers. **

**Read her story Rebel without a cause – you wont regret it; it has deanward :) **

**http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4912876/1/**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine, I own nothing, not a drop**

* * *

**WHITE NOISE**

_**Alice**_

_Blink. Blink. Blink._

The picture stays the same.

_Blinkblinkblinkblinkblink_

The tiny flecks of colour on the ceiling don't move. I stare longer and harder. Still nothing. They remain static. I give up trying to make pretty pictures out of them and look into the piecing, white light that shines directly into my eyes.

My hands feel numb so I stretch out my fingers and then curl them to make a fist. Once. Twice. Three more times. They've lost all feeling now. The straps are so tight that blood ceases to flow to them.

I lay perfectly still as the metal plates are placed on either side of my head with a strap positioned uncomfortably across my forehead.

"Bite down, Alice. You know the drill." The nurse's voice is raspy. She is never kind, but today she is the bitch from hell. It is she who is going to press the button that will shoot two hundred and twenty volts of blinding terror throughout my body.

I no longer resist when they come for me. I learned my lesson the first couple of times. If you're difficult, you're sedated. That's how it works around here.

The paper gown rustles when I shake. That's the only memory I have of these treatments afterwards. All I can remember is the shaking and how it chatters my teeth.

I look up at the nurse with frightened eyes, but don't find the comfort I am searching for. This is the worse part - the waiting. That, and knowing all eyes are on me.

"Ready." The nurse nods to someone I cannot see.

I hear the familiar click of the button, then everything turns white around me as an agonizing pain shoots throughout my body, from the top of my head down to the tips of my toes.

Every part of me stiffens. My eyes bulge, my jaw clamps shut, and I fleetingly taste the warm, metallic blood that oozes from the side of my tongue. My knuckles whiten as I grip the sides of the bed. Fear and bile rise in my throat in equal measures as I lay there, paralysed.

Then, just as quickly as it started, it stops. I don't fully understand what is going on around me because I am confused and frightened. Then, after a moment, I remember why I am lying here with my hands and feet strapped to the bed.

My mind wanders to a place it should not revisit. The images play in slow motion before me, like some bad, black and white, silent film.

Then I hear the click, and the pain fills me once again. My blood thickens as my body is electrified. I can't do anything but shake and bite down on the rubber tubing in my mouth. If I could think clearly at this precise moment, I would surely wish I was dead. But I cannot, so I don't.

My body relaxes as the current lessens and then comes to a complete stop. My wild eyes land on a plant on a nearby shelf. It looks odd here in here. Its beauty stands in stark contrast to this room, which is so cold and barren.

I watch as a little ladybird settles on the bottom green leaf. I do not question why it is here, indoors, because I no longer question why at all anymore. However I know it is not real. It is either my fried mind playing tricks on me, or it is one of my visions that these people are trying to stop.

My hands grip the cold, steel rail underneath the straps as I try to wiggle my feet. The ankle ties rub on the sores that are still open and raw from the last time I was here in this room. Although they may eventually heal, they will leave scars, thus leaving a permanent reminder of my time here. That is, if I ever get to leave.

The nurse replaces the fallen electrodes while she chastises me for moving about so much, as if the electric current had nothing to do with it.

I want to come out with some witty comeback, but even if I could unclench my jaw and open my mouth to speak, I would not say a word. I made a promise to my parents that I would try to behave myself from now on. There would be no more solitary confinement for me for talking back to the nurses and aides.

Mostly, however, I am being a good girl for Jasper, my only true friend here. It nearly destroys him when I'm sent to solitary, locked away from him, so I try to behave.

When he sees me after the shock treatments, he feels my pain so acutely that it breaks my heart. But what hurts me the most is the fact that I cannot do anything to stop the treatments from happening. Therefore, I am unable to ease his pain.

Yet still he comes. Any sane person would stay well away from me, but not Jasper. He sneaks out of his room and sits by my side until the effects of my treatment wear off and I wake once again.

When I slowly open my eyes, he is always there, stroking my hair. His fingertips softly graze my scalp, and then move down to caress my cheek. Each time I wake it takes me a few minutes to realise where I am and who he is, but I can always count on him to be there.

That is my last coherent thought as the third, longest and most powerful current attacks my every nerve. It feels as though every cell in my body explodes as I detach from my body. I detach from everything I know to be real and true, then I pass out.

I wake briefly between the cold sheets which rest lightly over my body. I am unable to open my eyes, then I quickly fade into the darkness again.

When I come to, I open one eye. The light hurts, but I open the other. A pain shoots through my temples so I reluctantly close both eyes again, and lay silently in between the cold sheets. I force myself to remain motionless. During this time, I will the pain to disappear.

It is a few moments before I realise that my hair is still. There are no fingers running through it.

"Jazz?" My voice is barely more than a whisper. My throat is dry and sore and I have trouble moving my head. My eyelids are heavy and I feel my mind slipping back into the unknown.

"Jazz?" A voice replies. It is not Jasper's. "Oh, Jazz couldn't come today so I came instead. However he _did_ tell me to say hello."

"What?" I murmur. I am still slightly groggy and confused, but I try to keep my eyes open long enough to focus on the shadowy figure that is perched on the edge of my bed.

Then suddenly, the strangest laugh fills the room. It hurts my ears, and I silently beg it to stop, but it does not cease. I force my eyes to stay open and I see him.

_James! _

My eyes widen and I let out a high-pitched scream, which ends up sounding more like the squeak from a mouse. A cloth of some sort covers my mouth and nose and I am petrified.

I try to move but the weight of his body pins me down. The toxic fumes from the cloth invade my nose and I choke as I gasp for breath. My tears blind me.

In my panicked state, I suddenly realise that I did not see this coming. It frightens me to think that the shock treatment has finally worked and taken away the part of myself that defines me and makes me unique.

With this last thought, I concede, and for the fourth time today, I pass out.

**A/N So what ya thinking? should I continue with this, make it a story or leave it a one shot? I would love to hear your opinion.**


End file.
